Remembering Russell Coile

Ellen Coile, September 7th, 2011 8:30 pm, Pacific Grove, California
Dearest Russell: In 1951 I promised to love you "'til death us do part" but now I would like to expand that to "all eternity." You thanked me frequently (sometimes several times in a day) for marrying you. I always said "thank you for asking" because ours was a true partnership. I couldn't have had a successful marriage without you, nor you without me, which made it nice. Thank you for three wonderful children: Jennifer Norah Miller Coile, Jonathan Roy Miller Coile, and Andrew Cleven Miller Coile. I always knew I wanted you to be the father of my children -- and what a superb job you did. I put my maiden name "Miller" ; in each of their names because I wanted people to know they were my children as well as yours. I don't approve of the way women used to lose their identity after marriage, taking the husband's name, etc. I put Miller in my name when I found people here put "none" or "NMI" in my name when they found I had no middle name. When I became a citizen they asked me if I was petitioning for a name change, I said, "No. Iâ€™ve been Miller all my life," but was told in America that was an alias or A.K.A. So I said, "Yes please. I want to change my name to retain my maiden name as a middle name." So now I am legal. When we had our 50th wedding anniversary people asked me if we were going to renew our vows. I said, "No. They aren't broken. We got it right the first time." I never understood "the honeymoon is over when..." jokes because our never was. (It wasn't all peaches and cream, but we always worked things out.) You always said, "Look out for #1" and I would answer, "I do. It is you." And that was the truth of it. I always agreed to whatever was good for you. The only time I said "No" to an assignment (Rio) we went anyway, the worst year of my life. But I survived it. So thank you for a wonderful ride. You gave me and our children a wonderful life, for which I thank you. 'Til we meet again. Love, Ellen